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The Chat

Marnie was up early, cleaning and minding the toddlers. After the kids all got off to school, the morning was filled with fixing the washer and dryer, as well as picking up dishes left all over the house by the kids.

Benji also called, and talked excitedly about his new apartment and the fast pace life of the city. It put Marnie in a great mood, and she whistled while she vacuumed the house, getting rid of hidden dust bunnies as she went.

Later, after all the kids got home from school with their school projects and the twins had gotten bored with behaving, Jaz decided to call Colin over to chat and help her with her volcano project.

The worked in silence for a short while, then both started talking at the same time. After a quick laugh about it, Colin indicated that Jaz should go first.

"So, you know I talked to the therapist last week? I went to Willow Creek Library yesterday and did some research on something Dr. Gemma talked to me about. Something I didn't mention to you. And it explains so much to me. But you have to keep it a secret. I'm not ready for everyone to know, okay?" Jaz started, hesitantly.

Colin readily agreed, very curious about something Jaz was hesitant to talk about, since she was usually an open book when it came to her life.

"There's a thing called 'gender dysphoria' - it means that you don't feel like you're the gender everyone assumes you are. After reading more about it, I think I'm non-binary. I am not a girl. But I'm not a boy, either. I think I'm somewhere in between. It's weird and I don't know how I feel about it, yet." Jaz continued, quietly, like she was afraid someone might hear if they were eavesdropping at the door.

Colin looked at Jaz in shock for a moment. Jaz started to say something, but Colin stopped her. "I won't tell your secret if you don't tell mine. My therapist and I have been talking about it for weeks now - I am not a boy. Or, at least, I don't think I am. My therapist calls it transgender - that I'd rather be a girl. So, I know what you mean about the dysphoria. I feel it every day. But I'm too afraid to tell anyone. So, other than my therapist, you're the only one who knows, now."

Jaz looked at Colin in wonder, and the pieces started falling into place. "Oh. Oh, gee, Colin. I felt so much better finding that other people feel like I do, and here my best friend in the whole world is the person who could understand everything I'm saying - and I never knew. I was only telling you because I didn't know if I should talk about it to Gemma some more."

"Seriously, though, you have to keep this a secret. I'm so afraid of what the other kids might think if they found out." Colin fiddled with a test tube from the project, then glanced at Jaz with a worried expression.

"I wouldn't tell anyone. Telling would only mean my secret might come out, too. So should I talk to Gemma? Or not. I promise I won't mention you to her." Jaz assured Colin.

"I think you should. Talking to my therapist has really helped me. The more honest you are with them, the more they can help you. At least, that's how it feels to me." Colin replied, then stopped whispering and said with a laugh, "You think we're ever going to finish this volcano?"

"Of course we are!" Jaz giggled, and both got down to work. They chatted about school, and the club, but the secrets seemed banished from conversation for now, as if both were a little overwhelmed by the feeling that someone else KNEW now.

Once the volcano was done, they tested it, cheering happily when it worked perfectly. They then decided to go upstairs and swing while they waited for Colin's Dad to come pick him up.

On the way upstairs, they passed by Myles and Marnie in the hallway working on his castle diorama.

The new porch lights that had been installed made it so much more fun to play outside when it was dark, and they had a good time.

Then, it was time for Colin to leave. He waved goodbye, giving Jaz a little wink as he walked away. Jaz smiled back and pantomimed her mouth being zipped shut. Shortly after, Marnie called her inside to go to bed, and she obeyed quickly, feeling pretty tired.

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